…it angries up the blood. Besides, I think it tastes fucking awful. Have you looked at the ingredients in it? Goats blood, spam, small child called Kevin, the entire 1952 Collingwood squad. Why the hell would I want to drink that?

I don�t know how many of have seen the documentary The Great Global Warming Swindle, and frankly, I don�t really care. The important thing is that I�ve seen it. I watched it last Thursday night on the ABC, presented by that fuckwit Tony Jones. Not the Channel 9 fuckwit, the ABC fuckwit. The doco itself was quite interesting, but the presentation pissed me off.

It is difficult to see at the moment how that would be possible. Currently, it’s 1.19pm and I’m still wearing a dressing gown – and I’m not even sick.

Rant time. Shall we begin? I’m sure you’re well-aware of the trialled extension to daylight savings planned for next year. If not, read this then get back to me.

Have you ever noticed how anytime you make an effort to help someone, you get right royally fucked? I am referring to the �incident�:http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/06/17/australia.shooting.ap/ yesterday in Melbourne. It�s no fucking wonder the world�s such a fucking mess. I hope they catch the prick and string him up by his balls. It got me thinking about what I would do in such a situation. I�d like to think that I would have acted like those two brave men and tried to help that woman, but the sad truth is I probably wouldn�t have.

Not fucking likely. It’s not that I can’t fix it….I won’t fix it. Fix it your damn self. I’m at the stage now where I just can’t be arsed doing anything. I have 4 assignments due in the next four weeks and I’ve done precisely bugger all on them. This is what you get when you Google “bugger all” – hilarious. I love the way these people think. They make Scott look very shady by comparison.

That’s one hell of a title, I’m sure you’ll agree. To be fair, it is a little generous, but since I wrote it…if you don’t like it, you know what you can do with it. Here are some suggestions if you’re struggling:

Apparently this is good news. So Keith Martin tells me anyway – why would Keith lie? By “boing” I mean going at it hammer and tongs. Apparently, kangaroos stop doing the ol’ horizontal hokey pokey in times of drought so their kiddies won’t starve. When rain is expected, they start going like the clappers again. So, if you see kangaroos going the humpty-dump on your lawn, don’t shoo them away, invite them in for a cup of tea and thank them for their warning. Some how the animals are always the first to know.

I know that I have ranted about car parks before, but I need to expand now. My views on shitty car parking and the terrible design of car parks in general are well known. However, there has been a new and more evil addition to car parks. I refer to “pram parking”.

I realise that it’s been a while since I have posted, but at least I am more reliable than certain others. I don’t want to name names…you all know who they are. So…do you like stuff? No? Me either. In fact, I hate stuff.