Fatlo.af

You may have noticed that there is an ever-increasing amount of Christmas bullshit appearing around the place. I have and it pisses me off. ItÂ’s fucking October and some of the shit has been there since July.

In a move welcomed by me, my family has decided to largely ignore Christmas this year. Sure, when I was a kid, I loved Christmas. But now (and for the past 15 years) I see it for what it is; a pathetic commercialised time of year that sucks in idiots and makes us miserable. I’m sure that if you are religious, it means something to you. However, I’m not – not even remotely – so I cannot see why I would be celebrating the birth of some long-dead beardo who may or may not have existed. That would just be hypocritical of me. That’s the same reason I ignore Easter – only the beardo’s death, obviously. In fact, Christmas was originally a pagan celebration and why it became associated with the birth of Christ is a mystery. At least we get some time off at Christmas and Easter.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not averse to spending some time with family and friends; eating too much, sinking copious amounts of piss and playing cricket in the front garden or on the road. What I do object to is feeling obliged to do this and spend good money on useless gifts because of some arbitrary day. We should get together and give each other gifts because we feel like it, not because we’re told to. I dislike birthdays for much the same reason. If you invite me out for a drink on your birthday because I’m your mate, all well and good – just don’t expect me to provide you with a useless trinket because that’s what society dictates. It just pisses me off. By the way, I don’t expect anyone to give me gifts either. Again, that would be hypocritical.

For me, Christmas has become the day before the Boxing Day Test. And this year, it has also become four days before I go to Phuket. ItÂ’s also an inconvenient interruption to the cricket season.

Now that I have had my little rant, itÂ’s time to move onÂ…

The cricket season is upon us once more. Unfortunately, my Club’s home ground (like many others) has been killed off by fuckwit footballers. I realise that most clubs play on council-owned ovals and they have to be shared by the community, but why can’t football clubs show a little respect to cricket clubs? That, too, pisses me off. They could play in a fucking cow paddock, but we need that flat 125 square metre area in the middle of the ground to play our sport. Selfish pricks. Train around the pitch square – surely it can’t be that hard.

I’m a wicket-keeper as many of you know, and I’m please to announce that the approximately 130 overs that I have ‘kept this season has not negatively affected my fucked knees and back. Well, no more than usual. I have had one hit so far this season and I have hit 33 unbeaten runs, so maybe this could be a good year for me? I do hope so.

Anyhoo, this little piece has been a welcome distraction from the law assignment I am supposed to be doing. I probably should get back to it.