I like to rant.
Hi! I’m Grum McLure. You may remember me from such rants as Why everyone but me is wrong, Piss off and die and There’s more to life than computer games you fat nerd. I’m here today to express me irritation at a ridiculous rule that prevents me from claiming any further Austudy.
Last Monday, I apparently exceeded the allowable time for this course. I found this hard to believe as I have only completed one year of a three-year course. How the fuck I had exceeded the allowable time was beyond me. So I went into Centrelink to find out. Apparently, the two and a half years of Biotechnology I did from 2000 to mid-2002 counts against me, despite the fact I wasn’t claiming Austudy during that period. Three years of study is all that is allowed.
So I asked the question how the hell am I supposed to live for the next two years with no cash? I can’t claim Newstart Allowance as I’m not looking for work. It’s hard to find a job as I am studying fulltime, in which I am expected to spend about 10 hours per week on each subject. Four subjects at 10 hours each: even the most dim-witted among you (although I’m not looking at anyone in particular) can figure out that 4 times 10 equals 40 hours – 2 more than the standard working week. In addition, even if I was looking for a job (which I would take if the right thing came along), it is hard for person of my age, with no qualifications, to find a job that doesn’t include some sort of manual labour; which of course, I can’t do due to my injury. So where does that leave me? Living in a cardboard box, which The Duck would no doubt burn down (a little Xpert Eleven reference for those of you playing at home), that’s where.
So now, I have to apply for a reassessment of my circumstances to try to get an Austudy allowance, even though before I was on Austudy, I was on a disability pension. Figure that out? Fucking bureaucracy shits me.
What is the new Labor Government going to do for me? We all know how great they are and how much the Liberal Government fucked up, so surely they can fix my problem, perhaps even buy me a puppy.*
Anyhoo, onto something else that has been shitting me:
Coincidentally, the following also relates to politics. However, I am not picking on any particular party. I am picking on all parties and all fuckwits. I hate having to walk through the gauntlet of leaflet hander-outerers when going to vote. I know who I am going to vote for and you trying to attack me in an attempt to shove propaganda down my throat will not change my mind. Unfortunately, they are preying on the fuckwits mentioned by Sasha here.
That’s it for today folks. Thank you for reading this drivel and allowing me to rant. As a famous Australian once said: I love yous. I love yous all. I think it may have been John Farnham.
Love and sloppy kisses,
Grum.
- That paragraph was purely for Sasha’s benefit. I am well aware that my predicament is a result of the Liberal Government being in power for the last 12 years. It will come as no surprise to regular fatloafers that I voted Liberal on Saturday, and yet here I am expressing my displeasure. Fire up, Sash!
“I hate having to walk through the gauntlet of leaflet hander-outerers when going to vote.”
I had the thought after I voted of lining up again and when they hand out pamphlets to you to ask them why you should vote for them and to really sell that party to you. Let them know that if they don’t sell it well enough, it’s going to be their fault you don’t vote for them.
Of course, the downside to this is that if they’re really good at selling it to you, you could end up with your vote going to the Womens Party or something.
Bureaucracy really pisses me off.
Bring on the revolution.
I just wore my “Fuck off, I know how to vote” t-shirt…
“I just wore my “Fuck off, I know how to vote” t-shirt…”
Where can I get one? I also want a “Fuck off, I don’t want an American Express” t-shirt.
This is the closest I could find…
http://www.cafepress.com/buy/fuck+off/-/pv_design_details/pg_5/id_22593343/opt_/fpt_/c_666/
Can I also add to that the “fuck off, I’m happy to give to charity, but only if I don’t feel like I’ve just been press-ganged into giving up $30 a month for a cause I’m not entirely sure of by an Indian or a hippie with terrible personal hygiene” t-shirt?