Fatlo.af

On the occasions that I forget what utter shite fills most men’s magazines, I buy them, and scoff at the bollocks filling almost every page.*
There are notable exceptions, well-written, readable and amusing magazines, however the mainstream stuff that can be found in almost any shop or petrol station seems to be growing more and more to be the kind of reading material that you’d expect to find on Fraser Gehrig’s coffee table (if, indeed, his cave has a coffee table).

I’m as partial to photographs of semi-naked, beautiful women as the next man, but when they’re accompanied by “interviews” claiming that the woman is a borderline porno-lesbian who would love nothing more than to just indiscriminately root some Joe Average with one of her stunningly beautiful (of course) friends, I feel that familiar sense of boredom and, generally, stop even looking at the photographs in disgust.
Now, either these women really are whores, devoid of respect for their lovers and/or themselves, and will say anything for the dinero, or they’re just saying these things because that’s what they think makes them attractive (just as bad, in my opinion), or, OR, these “interviews” are completely fabricated. (Gee, you think?)
Whatever the reason, the end result is the same and these models/actors/randoms have allowed their names to be put to the interview.
Are guys supposed to believe that all attractive women are “up for it”, preferably with 2 or more others involved? Apparently so, according to most mainstream “guy mags”.

OK, so the part-chauvinist, part-pisshead, part-larrikin approach sells copy and has it’s moments, but let’s have some fucking respect for ourselves! It’s possible to be a larrikin and witty without resorting to base humour and unintelligent double entendre.

Even the “advice” columns in these magazines revolve purely around things like convincing your girlfriend to have a threesome or making her go down on you. Sure, they’re noble causes, but there’s only so many different ways you can say “ask nicely and be prepared to deal with severe trust issues/kiss her afterwards”.

Of course, when all is said and done, we all have the right to exercise choice when buying these publications. However, I feel cheated that these sorts of magazines are considered the mainstream, accessible choice for the discerning man. If you want porn, get on the internet, if you want advice, read a “proper” magazine, don’t spend $8 a month on glossy toilet paper.