Fatlo.af

With no warning, it’ll just happen.

A weekend has passed, a couple of good nights out occurred during this period of non-work and I’m here to describe them to you in some detail.

Gavin is grouse.

The phrase that the title of this post is based on stemmed from an all too familiar conversation style between 4 people who were not quite drunk, not quite tired and with far too much energy and stupidity. We, this gaggle of gentleman being Paul, Kieran and myself – and the Duck, determined that if you ever want something you just say: “you do this or I’ll punch you in the face”. To us, at 3am, it was the perfect solution to all the worlds problems be they human borne or not. It was quite simple, a punch to the face, probably without warning, would cause the victim to capitulate and give in to your every demand.

It’s at least worth a shot.

Now, the reason we were all out at 3am in the morning is that we had been looking at breasticalia of the female variety earlier in the evening courtesy of another good friend’s impending doom…err, marriage. Personally I don’t see why you’d ruin a perfectly good relationship by getting married but then again my win-draw-loss ratio is fairly average. If I was a manager of a football team, I’d be sacked. All breasts aside, the night was a laugh. Apparently the best man, Gavin and the groom, Andrew, conspired to have one of the last acts drag me up on stage and perform unspeakable acts upon me involving cream and naked women. However, this turned around on him rather horribly by the exotic dancers through means of them puttin one of their g-strings on me (I wasn’t sans-pants mind you, this was over the top thankfully) and of course I took that to mean they wanted me to dance. And dance I did. The groom wasn’t too happy, probably because he was who I was dancing for and he was shirtless on the ground unable to do anything with my imposing figure dangling over him like the blade of a guillotine ready to drop on a very aware victim. I have potentially scarred his future impressions of g-strings by the way I alluringly danced over him and dropped my more than a handful sized arse down toward his face. He’ll remember that night for some time to come.

After the mammarian display we headed to the casino, some others started sobering up on the way so their pitstop at another strip club seemed warranted, perhaps required. We’ve come to the conclusion that Gavin likes boobs, a fact he’ll readily admit to. The rest of us however, went on to the casino for we had football to watch. Chelsea vs Liverpool was the go and my allegiance for the evening was with the reds. They came out victors in the end with some lovely foot work from Jermaine Pennant and Dirk Kuyt.

After more drinking, football watching, gambling and general loss of money the aforementioned walk began where the discussion of striking someone in the face with a closed fist begun. It wasn’t until the next day that we heard about the other activities that happened after we left, mainly split between G.Reg and his escapades and a certain General Zord. All good fun.

Poker was the order of the night on Friday, I joined a couple of gym and Tenix friends for a few rounds of Texas Holdem, a personal favourite of mine. While I’m still learning the game, I still count myself as fairly reasonable. One participant who played with us plays decidedly more often than I and imparted a huge amount of knowledge onto us while he took our money. Such a gracious teacher. That being said, I’m well poised for the next competition, I loves my poker.

Well, its a short week coming up because of Australia Day on Friday, I look forward to doing something over the weekend, perhaps of the bbq variety as they’ve been fairly short on this season so far. With the rain hitting Adelaide fairly hard this weekend and the prediction for more the weekend to come it could be a last minute decision to hold one. Keep your tongs at the ready and clean your bbq trays, your services may be required at short notice.

Currently, March 4th is looking like the go for the 3rd Fatloaf Karting Bonanza, if you’re a competitor you’d better start getting some training in because I don’t want a repeat of the last two events where someone else wins it. Get involved tiger.

Time to go, I feel like a coffee.