Fatlo.af

If this were actually true, do you know how many people would be wandering around with tea towel’s around their heads carrying AK-47′s and wanting “flying” lesson’s?

Let’s just leave it at a lot.

I know/understand/can tell you a lot about the seedy underbelly of the interweb, the sideway’s glances, the long overcoats, the badly applied fake moustaches. You have to watch your back when you walk around in these places, you never know when someone might want to harvest one of your keyboards or hard drives against your will to sell on the black market. Let me tell you, its rough out there for the unprepared.

Arrrrr, ye be a pirate!

This apparent connection of piracy and terrorism being its distant second cousin or something came about from watching a very, very average movie about using black hole’s as a power source. Of course, we all know how improbable that is, but they do keep trying to convince us. Anyway, the movie was crap, that’s a given, the advert at the beginning is what got me. Piracy fund’s a lot of things is what this ad was trying to tell us, all of them squarely rooted in the depths of evil, so evil in fact that they leave their shoes outside when they come in just in case they stepped in something good on the way to the evil pirates door.

There are a couple of variation’s on the whole “software piracy is evil, if you partake in it you are playing a part in the destruction of humanity and killing puppy’s and burning flowers and whatnot” but this one is by far the most amusing. It has a very fat shirtless bald man, sweating profusely over some kind of blacksmithing furnace holding a brand in the form of a large X ready to be planted onto some unaware nearby cattle. Every time a new heading about what piracy funds or how bad it is comes up, he raises the brand and thrusts it foward in a form of strength designed to instill fear in my heart about the peril’s of software piracy. There is also a close up of his eye’s normally at this point because they are glaring and have had some CGI addition’s in the form of flames in them, just in case we hadn’t got the gist of “being evil”.

I want to see if I can find it online somewhere so I can watch it whenever I need a giggle, damn it’s funny.

The other thing to come out of that lovely evening down at Greg’s place was what the great Gavino did. I think Gavin consider’s himself a magician, he can make people leave a room, make a bad taste appear in your mouth and is fairly good at throwing insults. This one is by far the best though, trying to snort a pea up your nose. He tried the first time, was reasonably successful but couldn’t get it all the way, the second time though, not only didn’t get the pea all the way through but he managed to severely strain his neck and upper back muscles and subsequently couldn’t move. Probably the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time. Every movement Gavin made from his fairly restrictive horizontal position brought about a “ahh fuck!” and a short squeal of pain. Hilarious. The good thing is I’m sure he’ll try it again.

Even now as I re-read that paragraph I can still see the strain on his face and neck as he tried desperately to shoot a pea up his nose and then the look of shock, wide-eyed as every muscle in his neck decided in unison that this was far enough, a warning was needed to not do it anymore. I giggle at the mere thought of his expression.

Vote 1 Robert Smith
As some of you may know, my father is running for council this year. In this case, its for the Salisbury Council in the Levels Ward, which comprises Mawson Lakes, Pooraka and Para Hills up to Bridge Road. There are quite a few of his poster’s scattered about the area and of course, I hope he gets in during the upcoming ballot. If you are interested, there is a forum this Wednesday night at the Mawson Centre in Mawson Lakes which will have all the candidates who are running for council speaking up the front, including my dad. It starts at 8:15pm, I’m sure there will be refreshments of some kind.

Being that the ballot closes in November, my vote’s fairly transparent, how’s yours looking?

Schnitzelfest
In driving past the Coopers Ale House on Pulteney Street I noticed they currently are having a Schnitzelfest from the 1st – 31st of October. It’s almost over, my advice is if you like Schnitzel these people are the ones to quench that thirst right away.

FIFA 07 and the PS2
Cicco, one of the Eeyore members and resident number’s freak is currently sorting out a bit of a competition between FIFA and Pro Evolution Soccer to determine which hold’s the most sway in the realm of virtual soccer games. I, for one, am looking forward to it. After all, FIFA is the only way I can get West Ham to win any games, they can’t do it in the real world.

Josh’s first birthday
As with last year, relying on Spence to put something up here in a timely manner is just inviting danger to sit beside you and tell you stories about the good ole’ days. His son Joshua had his inaugural birthday last weekend, the ripe old age of 1. Surprisingly, there is a large amount of alcohol at a child’s first birthday party, I wasn’t aware of this but it was a good surprise nonetheless. My gift to Joshua was some Matchbox cars, some european ones so that he can get to know what good cars look like early on. Hopefully he won’t be influenced too much by his father’s seemingly endless desire to drive glorified commodores (see: Statesman). Anyway, happy birthday Josh. I’m sure you won’t remember it.

I think that’s it for the day, join me next week when I regale stories about cake decorating and the lost art of personal injury.