Fatlo.af

The time has come for the fourth installment of….

10 things Grum hates about you.

Need to refresh your memory? Go ahead. I won’t be doing anything for the next few minutes except sitting here twiddling my thumbs and singing Copacabana.

Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there
She would merengue and do the cha-cha
But while she tried to be a star,
Tony always tended bar.

Across the crowded floor, he worked from 8 til 4
They were young and they had each other
Who could ask for more?

At the Copa, Copacabana
The hottest spot north of Havana
At the Copa, Copacabana
Music and passion were always in fashion
At the Copa….they fell in love.

His name was Rico. He wore a diamond.
He was escorted to his chair, he saw Lola dancing there
And when she finished, he called her over,
But Rico went a bit to far,
Tony sailed across the bar
And then the punches flew and chairs were smashed in two
There was blood and a single gun shot
But just who shot who?

At the Copa, Copacabana
The hottest spot north of Havana
At the Copa, Copacabana
Music and passion were always in fashion
At the Copa….she lost her love.

Copa… Copacabana… music and passion… always the fashion…

Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl,
But that was 30 years ago, when they used to have a show.
Now it’s a disco, but not for Lola,
Still in the dress she used to wear,
Faded feathers in her hair.

She sits there so refined, and drinks herself half-blind.
She lost her youth and she lost her Tony,
Now she’s lost her mind!

At the Copa, Copacabana
The hottest spot north of Havana
At the Copa, Copacabana
Music and passion were always in fashion
At the Copa….don’t fall in love.

Welcome back. Here we go…

1. Kim Beazley’s Fit for Government campaign.

I don’t care how much weight he loses, I’m still not voting for him. When he loses the next election is he going to start his “The Fat Guy’s Back” campaign?

2. Paris Hilton.

I’m sure she’s getting more annoying, although I’m not sure how that is possible.

3. People who think that chess is a sport.

How physically inept do you have to be to start considering chess to be a sport? I admit that you have to have a certain set of skills to play it, but if you don’t actually raise a sweat and increase your heart rate doing it, I don’t consider it to be sport.

4. Buying my FUIC from a servo that has a Wok In A Box attached or from a fish & chip shop.

The smell from the cooking gets on the carton and taints the taste. I don’t like it…not one little bit.

5. Nurl.

Because he is a wafter.

6. Strippers.

Now you probably think I’m a poof, but I don’t care. I don’t get any enjoyment out of watching strippers. In fact, I feel a little sorry for them that this is how they earn their money. Besides, what do I get out of it? If they strip just for me then jump into bed with me after, I’m all for it!

7. The fact that I’ll probably never keep wicket again.

That just pisses me off. I love doing it. However, if I have to make that sacrifice but I can eventually get back to playing cricket, then I’ll be more than happy to do it.

8. How over-rated Led Zeplin are.

Play Stairway to Heaven then piss off.

9. Greg Ritchie bagging Ricky Ponting and John Buchanan.

I’m sick to death of ex-players bagging the current team. John Buchanan has been a very successful coach and Ricky Ponting has an outstanding record as both Captain and as a player. Perhaps Ritchie should have looked at his own record before opening his gob in future.

10. Graham Yallop having a whinge about the lack of Victorians in the Australian side.

It happened to South Australia for years. We had the likes of Blewett, Lehman, Gillespie, Siddons, Hookes and Nielsen who either didn’t get a go in the Australian side (what the fuck did Siddons do wrong?), got limited opportunities or were very late getting into the side (think Lehmann ). Nielsen was unfortunate because he was around in the era of Ian Healy, but he never got one game for Australia when Healy was injured or resting. It pisses me off, but I don’t go making public statements….apart from this one.

Let’s finish with another Barry Mannilow song….

I’ve been alive forever,
And I wrote the very first song.
I put the words and the melodies together,
I am music,
And I write the songs.

I write the songs that make the whole world sing.
I write the songs of love and special things.
I write the songs that make the young girls cry.
I write the songs, I write the songs.

Love and sloppy kisses,