Fatlo.af

I have spoken about the man love that I secrete on a daily basis for Jeremy Clarkson and Co over at Top Gear but with the news of Richard Hammond’s high speed accident doing the rounds this week it has prompted a typical reaction from the right-wing fairies who think all cars should be destroyed and everyone should get about on clouds who’s only exhaust fume is rain and a bit of thunder occasionally so we don’t hurt the lovely environment.

Fuck that.

This debate that has come about, the one which says that enjoying Top Gear is akin to sacrificing an infant to a baying wolf and all that do enjoy watching it are merely helping the devil to sing the song that will end the earth, because of Richards accident involving a top-fueller and him rolling it over at 480km/h. It’s quite funny, its like they were waiting, not unlike a ninja, in the shadows for something like this to happen so that they could pounce and maul Top Gear for all its worth, to destroy it so much that people wouldn’t want to watch it anymore.

Yeah, like thats going to happen.

Despite the fact that the Hamster is making a remarkably recovery, is walking around a bit and making bad jokes again and despite the fact that fans of the show have already donated enough money to the charity he was helping out when he had the accident that they’ve bought a $500,000 helicopter (and named it after Richard, The Hamster). So, despite all this, nothing good can ever come out of this show.

The argument is farcical at best, they believe that this gloriously arrogant and obnoxious show glorifies speed and is directly responsible for pimply faced young men killing themselves at high speed and is the antichrist, completely against the mother-nature loving, planet nurturing, resource saving, hair-shirt wearing crowd that the argument has spawned from.

Just as a side note, the Toyota Prius, apparently the saviour of the planet when it comes to cars, produces more toxins during its production (due to the materials used and the manner in which they are produced) than it would ever make up for during its pollutionless life. And, if someone ever complains that the worlds oil resources are running out, tell them its complete bollocks, there is more oil in Venezuela and Canada seperately (roughly 1.7 trillion barrels each) than there is in all of the Middle East and Africa combined.

Anyway, back to Top Gear.

So essentially, what happened to Hammond is more than just a segment gone wrong, its apparently shone a bright light onto the evils of the world and how the internal combustion engine is the devil personified.

Perhaps they are dramatising it all just a tad.

I love Top Gear and all it represents, but I have no intention of partaking in illegal street drags. Especially not in a Sportivo (cue Bill’s completely predictable remarks). As was pointed out in an article I read, the main demographic of the show are 11 year old boys and middle aged boys. Either they can’t drive or they get told off by their wife in their Nissan Pathfinder that they’re speeding when they go 5km/h over 60. It’s not the 18 year old speeding P-plater’s (or the UK equivalent) that they think is watching this show, they’re out competing in illegal drag races and sitting around in carparks at Hungry Jacks or McDonalds when its on.

No matter what you do, speed is king. Top Gear show’s this so well, so relentlessly and effortlessly that it must annoy those who have taken the stance that it is bad to go fast, its bad to burn fossil fuels and its definitely bad to own a convertible sports car made in Italy. These people have to work hard even to get us to notice they have an opinion on something other than wearing natural fibres and that the industrial revolution will be the destroyer of this world and the next. Even then they look like loonies.

Top Gear won’t disappear, even if the BBC cancel it. Someone else will pick it up, its a guaranteed moneymaker. Just from the official stats alone it garner’s 6million viewers a week. That’s not counting the rest of the planet who downloads it off of the interweb. I’d make a guess at close to 30million people watch Top Gear at some stage every week when it’s on. Who know’s, I might be wrong, but if one country can get 6million viewers, 10% of its population to watch it, my 30million might be a bit conservative.

Get well Richard, I look forward to Top Gear coming back on when you’re well.