Fatlo.af

Time fly’s when you’re having fun so I’m told. Something I can now truly agree with. It has now been four months to the day since my son Joshua graced the world with his presence. It’s also about the same amount of time since my last post.

To some, mostly the ignorant, it would seem that I have abandoned the Fatloaf family for one reason or another and I guess that would be a fair assumption based on the fact that there has very little input from my good self on this site for quite some time now.. For those who aren’t in the ‘ignorant’ category, they would realise that I may have had my hands a little bit fuller than normal and have been a little bit busier than usual. For those who know me well, they would think that I’m talking shit and that I have just been a lazy bastard for the best part of the last four months. Well I guess any of those answers would be correct or at least partly true anyway. The truth of the matter is that some time ago I decided to take some time away from the usual day to day things in my life and take some time out to spend with my son, Joshua.

In the last 4 months I have been woken up in the middle of the night, changed shitty nappies (the kind where the contents have to be triple bagged put in a bright yellow wheelie bin to be transported and shot into the sun to be cremated because normal flames are too scared to go near them, nappies), I’ve been crapped on, pissed on, puked on, dribbled on, sneezed on, kept up until all hours of the morning and pushed to the edge of every comfort zone I have ever known, all by one little man, my son. The funny thing about all that stuff that I have been through, the emotion, discomfort, stress and fatigue is that I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world… ok maybe I’d exchange the shitty nappies for a small tropical island near Hawaii but I love looking back on all of those emotions and indescribable feelings that I have experienced and think of how much this little guy has taught me about life…

Looking at a newborn baby, you realise so many things about life. Big issues aren’t so big anymore, anything that used to take precedence now takes a back seat and all those things that made no sense before in life start to fall neatly into perspective. Sometimes it becomes hard to look down at your child and know that you have brought them into this world knowing how much they are going to become exposed to during their life. Quite often we forget that we all start in the mortal world with a clean slate, untainted by the bad things that society teaches us all. Things like racism, hate, anger, violence, jealousy, and a whole plethora of horrible other stuff you aren’t born with. Instead society teaches us these things and we just put it down to that thing called life. Looking down knowing all of that, you come to the realisation that right in front of you something so damn close to perfection is looking back at you with an unmeasurable amount of unconditional love totally dependant on the decisions you make. Looking out of those innocent eyes for the same amount of love, looking for guidance and waiting for you to pick him up and teach him the best path in life to take (a pretty daunting task when I don’t know where I’m going yet).

Unfortunately in life we don’t have the luxury of being able to choose our family… but if we did there is no way I would have chosen a different son, as far as I’m concerned he is the best son that anyone could ask for but hey, I guess I am a little bias (hopefully my father said that about me too). Every single day of my life for the last four months that little boy hasn’t failed to make me smile… from coming home from work in a shit mood, to smashing my thumb with a hammer, there hasn’t been anything bad enough to stop me from looking at that little boy and smiling. His smile is just so contagious, doesn’t matter how hard you try not to he just makes you smile, if you don’t believe me you can ask anyone that has met the little fella. I dunno, there just something about the little guy that’s calming, except when he’s pissed because he wants a feed, but then again I can’t blame him really, I get a little shirty when I want some food.. but, still he’s a cutie there’s no doubt about that.

There’s times thought where I have to admit that I don’t want to let him out into the big bad world… like when I’m holding him in my arms just taking in the touch… the smell… smoothness of his skin, the perfection, his innocence and the knowledge that if I let him go all that will all change at some stage.

Apart from the fact that I have had to deal with the poo, wee, crying and not so nice parts of being a parent, I know I have so much to look forward to. Even saying that, I don’t think changing nappies, staying up late etc is such a big deal, you have to take the good with the bad and I feel sorry for those people in life that have missed out on those experiences. Some may say parenting is a woman’s job and maybe in the 18TH century it was but honestly, if you don’t do it, you will never know what it is you’re missing out on. Some may say this is a good thing, I’m telling you it not. Get involved, in everything, I have always been a believer that to get the most out of life you should try everything (within certain guidelines you sicko’s) at least once, no matter if it is a good thing or not and especially with your children, especially when the is so much you can miss out on.

I will leave you with this little bit of wisdom that I have picked up in the last four months
Make sure that when you all have children (if you decide to or if you have them already and aren’t doing this) take the time out of the hype called ‘life’ to stop and smell the roses, take the time to feel how smooth your baby’s skin is, absorb the ‘baby’ smell they have and enjoy every single minute that the two of you have together and make sure that you realise just how perfect they are and how lucky you are.

The day Joshua was born, my life changed, beyond my wildest dreams, it was a day I will never forget and it was a day I will never be able to duplicate again.

HAPPY 4th MONTH BIRTHDAY JOSHUA