nobody likes a smartarse
Well yes people its has been a while since i graced this site with my presence. I have returned for a time undetermined and i will not make any guarantees on how long i will be here, how much i will contribute and how good the quality of what i have to say will be. But, im here.. so be happy with that.
let it be noted before i go any further that scott hasnt posted for along time either until today.. he runs the bloody website and i was on strike! i have put many hours in previously contributing to the outstanding content contained within, with no payment.. sure i signed up knowing full well it wasnt a paid job and it was on volunteer basis but, seriously how much blood can you get out a perfectly formed ans sculpted rock like myself? and while im on the band wagon of turning the tables on scott.. some people may remember a pick up line competition scott was running.. what happen to the winner??
I’m not really sure what im here to write, or more so where to start. due to having so much to write i have confused myself on what i want to write about. I have been meaning to put something up for those starving fans of our for some time now (about a month) and i havent, i have excuses but that you would care but you will listen regardles.
For my first excuse (and only excuse) i will blame it entirely on scott, i have no hesitation in doing this and i blame him because he helped coax me into the whole gambling thing.. (not that i needed much coaxing) but im blaming him for taking my lunchtimes away and making me play online to take over the world with fake money.. yes i too am talking about about the texas hold’em poker phenomenon that is sweeping across the world. If you dont know about the said phenomenon aka World Poker Tour you have been living under a rock or somewhere else that is living under a rock-like but not quite the same.. either way you need to wake the hell up. Even if you dont really understand the game now it doesnt take long to pick up and the mind games that the guys that are the best in the world play on each other can be quite entertaining to watch (and thats comming from someone who wont watch anything unless its fast, physical, involves alot of adrenaline naked women and mud/jelly or all over the above) this isn’t fast, its far from physical (i thought bowling was a lazy sport) and there is only a teeny weeny bit of adrenaline when someone bluffs and wins $10millon U.S!!! what tha? yeah ten million U.S dollars Wholly shiyat! thats nice pay day for a days work and thats what a new found aussie hero won two weeks ago when he won the world poker tour championship. now we all like beating the yanks but beating them and taking their money is oh so much sweeter. The only downside is that unless you win a spot in this tournament for free, via playing online or other local tournaments the investment to get your ass seated at a starting table is about 10k U.S.. small price to pay for a cheque that size.. so unless thats a bloody big rock your living under and its too heavy to get out from underneath or your to lazy to move, get on down the the casino and have a look at the real thing or type
i had found and extremely amusing website called “asksnoop.com” in the time i have been missing in action. the site seems to be inactive at the moment but its a translator and when you type in a web address lets just say ummm i dunno someone give me a website.. ah lets say ‘fatloaf.com’ it translates all the text on that site into snoop language.. rada funny shit’ ‘n’ shit, so make sure all yo’ peeps’ ‘n’ shit keep trying to ged ya boodies ‘n’ shit on da web site and check da shit out ‘n’ shit.
For those of you who have hotmail email accounts you will notice that there is a 250mb limit it used to be 2mb but got increased a while ago.. i didnt think i would ever use that all up but today i managed to do that so i have started the long proceedure of reading the emails and deleting them if they are shit.. i did find one although it was a while ago that i found it, i found it again today and it reminded me that i will be including parts of it in my next few posts whenever they may be. so make sure you read all the way to the bottom because my posts all come with a little warning at the bottom now.. go on read it.. you know you want too..
something just dawned on me as i was thinking of stealing the line “say hi to your mum for me” rove says, “say hi to your mum for me” but what about dad.. why doesnt he say hi to dad.. i dont think thats very nice rove why does he hate my dad.. i think he may have been abused as a child. why do you think?
anyway i think that will do it for me for now.. i may be back, i may not be, i may be abducted by aliens and taken far away to another planet.. but it will be ok if the abduction happens ill just email you all. That or send smoke signals..
bye for now..
say hi to your parents guardians or anyone else that looks after your sorry arse for me.
spence
“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams If I didn’t drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say
to myself, “It is better that I drink this wine and let their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.”
~ Jack Handy
happened to your bra and panties.
10 Responses to “nobody likes a smartarse”
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Wow….you were right Spence. You truly had nothing to say, yet I was drawn to it like a Priest to a Primary School (ooh I’m going to hell for that one!)
But I do agree with you that it’s Scott’s fault. But never try and use it as an excuse to your boss, they just say “Who the fuck is Scott” and “Have you been stealing all the post-it notes?”
see the thing is that my boss knows scott.. and they already know i have all the post it notes..
Well you’re set then, aren’t you? My suggestion is to start trying to steal more significant things like entire computers. Or to really piss them off, start pinching their coffee mugs
My boss doesn’t know Scott, but apparently next week the Police will be looking to him to “help them with their enquiries” regarding stolen post-it notes, 3 missing computers, and a bound and gagged co-worker who was found in the compactus.
whats so important with post-it notes i take them all the time, the kind of people that need to be locked up are pen stealers…..
Yeah, I fucking hate pen stealers, but now mug theft has really got me worked up. My mug (which I stole from my last work place) was taken from the kitchen one day after I left it there overnight or some such. Either way, it turns out some grotty fucker about 2 desk away from me had pinched and was making endless black coffee in it. After a few weeks, it was black inside. Fuck I was fuming. Props to Betty the receptionist for stealing it back for me and also cleaning it. Is stabbing a staff member with a letter opener a dismissable offence?
section 3,965,012 part b sub-clause 69 of clause 94 of the inter-office work rage law states that stabbing another employee of the same organisation in which you are employed is permissible when it is deemed by all other co-workers that the act for which they have been stabbed is punishable only by the above stated act when it has been determined usually by the amount of times in which they have been stabbed and the passion used in carring out the said punishment. it is stated if punishment is executed in a ‘half-assed’ manner and the said offender survives said punishment previously described, he has the right of reply in the method of the ‘kick-for-kick’in the balls theory. kick-for-kick may only be used once and the final winner shall then be deemed office king until another memeber of the workplace in question chooses to violate section 5932 sub clause 983 of clause 45398 part b sub part 4 of the ‘happy worker’ enviroment legislation. in the case in which this happens please see section 69346 act 9543728 clause 5678 part c sub clause 2 part 9869 of the ‘right of retaliation’ act 1952.
*note – above stated information may not actually exist and may be confusing and extremely misleading
I find in these situations, nerf war’s are the way to solve all conflicts.
nerfhaven.com has plenty to choose from.
So you’re saying a full on nerf attack, followed by a severe and incapacitating, perhaps, fatal stabbing would be the preferred method of redemption? I feel that you just might be right there. Should your information regarding the “Inter-office rage law” be incorrect, I shall use my one phone call to let you know how badly I injured him
i am so lost after reading spences explanation. Boy, no stabbing someone with a letter opener is not an offence, however i prefer shooting staples at their eyes, its like a precision sport